Final Exam

Learning good mobility skills with a visual impairment often proved to be challenging.  Easily maneuvered obstacles for the sighted transformed into momentous trials for me.  Quitting was not an option with my mobility instructor nor did the concept compute in my dogged determination to conquer what many would deem as limitations.  When various awkward situations occurred, I often prayed for God's help and wisdom to know what to do.  Sometimes, a particular verse of Scripture carried me through and in turn, strengthened my faith in my God, who sees and knows my path. 

Mobility training took about six weeks or so, every Wednesday afternoon for about an hour.  Since I was in graduate school then, my mobility instructor would meet me on campus for that day's lesson.  I learned to locate stairs, elevators, particular rooms, buildings on campus, the easiest routes to and from said buildings, bathrooms, sidewalks, and so on.  Basically, my instructor would put me in different places so I'd have to face those troublesome, but daily aspects, to walking with a white cane.  Each week was different and eventually, we left the campus to practice out on the streets. Most of the sidewalk practice was easy except for the typical cracks, where my cane would get caught. I would have to stop to get it out of its trap.  We would walk the neighborhood around the seminary, which was not a good one, I assure you. Sometimes my instructor would lag behind to let me experience the feeling of doing this on my own.  My fear of hitting something was great, but as we worked on my skills, this diminished.  I did make many mistakes and part of the training was to figure out how to get myself out of those dilemmas. 

Another aspect to mobility was the memorization of counting, not steps but driveways, street corners, names of streets, turns I'd made, and most importantly, how to get back to where I had started.  It was helpful to learn whether a certain street was north-south or east-west just in case I got lost.  I did, on a regular basis.  At the end of each session, Keri would usually tell me some great tips to remember and we would debrief that day’s mistakes and successes.  She was fantastic in my opinion, and a bit of a drill sergeant, too.  I was often exhausted afterwards just from the relief of stress over what we had just accomplished. However, as each week went on, I was truly gaining confidence.  It always amazed me that I could evaluate my surroundings by my sense of hearing and sense of touch. 

After six weeks of practice, my final exam came.  Keri had already taken me to some busy downtown streets where I had to cross in front of several lanes of loud motors, radiator heat, honking horns, people telling me I was going the wrong way, and the like.  On the day of the final, Keri took me to a particular street corner, told me the names of the streets, and gave me my instructions for the test. 

"Mike, I want you to walk five blocks in any direction you wish and you have to cross this first street at least two times.  You are completely on your own. You can't call a cab, but you can ask for help if needed.  If you get lost, it's your problem.  I'm not going to assist you at all.  You have plenty of experience to do this and I'm going to plant myself on this corner and I will be here when you get back.  When you get back, I'll greet you.  If you miss this corner, I'm not going to come and get you, so remember all the things we've worked on. There’s one more thing, Mike.  You can do it!" 

With fear and trepidation, I started my exam.  Taking my cane and extending it to locate the curb's edge, I lined myself perpendicular to it.  I also noticed in my cane sweep that there was a traffic light pole next to me.  Feeling it, I found its set of buttons for pedestrians to push when they sought a clear walk signal.  The sounds of cars were moving in front of me so I knew it was not safe to step into the street.  Traffic, to me, was the scariest part for one never knew which driver might not be paying attention to a pedestrian in front of the car.  Eventually, the engine sounds stopped moving in front of me and the movement started to my right.  This meant it was safe to step off the curb. I launched out on my journey. 

Stepping into the street, I heard noisy cars and felt heat on my left side from the roaring engines.  When those sensations stopped, I knew I had passed the first three lanes of traffic.  The other three lanes were a piece of cake provided there was a curb on the other side.  If there was no curb, then I wouldn’t know if I'd gotten completely across the street.  Left, right, left right, left, right went my cane, all the while my fear of my life ending from being run over pulsed through my body.  Suddenly, my cane jammed into something and I quickly evaluated it as the curb. Common sense was telling me it should be a curb.  With that revelation, I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped up onto the sidewalk on the other side of the street.  Turning to my right and positioning myself, parallel with that curb, I heard to my left the familiar sound of something I couldn't at that time identify.  This didn't matter, though, because I knew I could recognize it in the future if need be.  The sound would help me find this crossing, once again. 

Stepping forward, I began to walk and tap, keeping myself a few feet from the curb.  Traffic raced by me on my right and this, too, helped to guide my steps. Relaxing more, I began to pick up some speed, not too much, for I was in unfamiliar territory.  My cane hit another curb, meaning there was most likely a street in front of me.  I stopped to listen for any cars that might be there, but heard none.  I did hear two ladies to my left laughing about something and suddenly, both locked their arms into mine and we took off across that side street.   It scared me a little but one lady told me she knew a blind man once and he needed all the help he could get.  On the other side, they both departed, leaving me somewhat confused and not really knowing what to do next. 

"Remember, Mike, remember."  I thought to myself.  I'd crossed the street once, turned to my right, heard the unidentifiable sound, and crossed one side street.  I was still alive.  Praying, I asked the Lord to guide my steps and I recalled my favorite Bible verse.  "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."  My hands were sweating but I pressed forward, reminding myself of that verse.  Crossing another side street came easily and I just kept walking with the traffic. To my left there were buildings or stores and occasionally, I heard a door open or close.  My one landmark, that unidentifiable, but familiar sound had faded into oblivion, which left me a bit fearful.  Continuing on, I heard what sounded like a man in front of me.  Slowing down, I realized he was talking to someone.  As I approached his voice on the sidewalk, he must have been caught by surprise, for we suddenly collided.  That collision caused me to spin some direction, resulting in confusion for me.  He apologized and asked me where I was going.  Fear gripped me for I forgot the name of the street I'd been maneuvering.  I must have looked bewildered to him because I heard nothing after that. 

"Sir, I need to be walking west on the busy street!  Could you help me?" 

Hearing nothing, I repeated my request but to no avail.  I guess, and I will never know why, he left the scene.  My verse came back to mind; “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”  Knowing God would guide me back safely, yet feeling so much fear because I was lost, made me feel like my heart was being torn in two.  "Lord, if I just had my sight back this would be a piece of cake!" I said to myself.  Finally, I remembered what my instructor had drilled into me so many times before."

"Stop and listen!" 

Doing this, I heard the roar of traffic behind me.  The sound of a car door slammed, as some adult yelled at her kids to never slam the door.  This meant I must have been standing in a parking lot near a store with the traffic behind me.  Sweeping around me with my cane, I turned so that the moving traffic noise was to my left.  Locating the curb, I decided to walk back to where I'd started.  In all the confusion, I'd forgotten how many blocks I'd come, but I was tired of this and just wanted it to be over.  Tapping my cane, I stepped forward to go back down the busy street, the name of which, I had forgotten.  Crossing one side street and then another, I found myself pleading with my heavenly Father for help.  Since I'd forgotten my street count, I knew I'd never know exactly where to turn to cross back over to where Keri was standing.  That thought overwhelmed me to the point of making me want to go into a store and call a cab.  Knowing this was against the rules, I had to pray again. This time I asked God to do something to let me know where I was or where the crossing was.  As often happens in my life, it took a few steps forward for my faith to be realized.  Then, and it hit me like a ton of bricks, that unidentifiable, but familiar sound burst on my hearing.  This time, however, I was able to identify it.  The clanging of metal and the sound of an air wrench, in harmony, came from my right.  I turned slightly to listen to it and thought that this must be coming from an automotive garage. Maybe a mechanic was torqueing nuts or bolts on a manifold or tire rim. 

With this new revelation, my tension lessened, for I knew God had given me some guidance.  This meant that Keri was across the street, so I turned to my left, located the curb, and waited till the traffic sounds weren't moving in front of me.  When the time came to cross, I stepped into the street, crossing the three, empty lanes, and headed for the sound and heat of running engines.  That came quickly and it was directly in front of me, which meant I had drifted off to my right.  Hitting a tire, I tapped and stepped to my left until the sound and heat were at my right.  Although I'm not sure of the thoughts and feelings of those drivers, I think they must have been a bit angry, for I whacked away at their bumpers till I found the home curb.  Stepping onto the sidewalk, I heard my mobility instructor say words I'll never forget. 

"You made it, Mike!!!  You did well!!!  I'm proud of you!!!”

Feeling totally exhausted, I exhaled and managed to smile. It was a good feeling to know I'd finished the course.  The exam was tough for me, but I finished and that was all I needed to do to pass.  When I forgot my way, I had to problem-solve, I had to ask for help, and I had to depend upon other resources, both inwardly and outwardly.  When I didn't know which way to turn, my heavenly Father gave me guidance through sound, through common sense, and through my trust in Him.  This is the essence of another verse of Scripture where we're told that we live by faith and not by sight.